Pray the gay away.

Reparative therapy.

Shock treatments, or “aversive” therapy.

Lobotomies.

These are the steps some doctors, religious figures and therapists have taken to cure LGBT of their “disease.” It is terrible to think that these methods are common and acceptable to many in our country and around the world. The American Psychological Association removed homosexuality from its list of mental illnesses in 1973, but that hasn’t stopped the practice of these “cures.”

Two years ago a six-member Task Force on Appropriate Therapeutic Responses to Sexual Orientation was appointed to study the effectiveness of reparative therapies. They examined 83 opinions written between 1960 and 2007. Judith M. Glassgold, who chaired the taskforce, said there was little evidence to support “psychological interventions” when trying to alter a client’s sexuality.

So on August 5, 2009, decades after its 1973 decision, the APA adopted a resolution advising health care professionals against telling gay patients that therapy or other measures could make them straight. It also stated that parents and guardians should seek psychotherapy and education in order to provide support to and reduce the rejection of young LGBT. This is especially important since LGBT experience high suicide rates, particularly among gay youth.

In other words, you can’t treat gay because there is nothing to cure. It’s a significant gesture, even though it may not appear to be. Support from a professional organization (one that is supposed to treat mental illness) is no small matter.

For homosexuals, the fight has never been a matter of strange fetishes or addictions. Instead, it has been a matter of the heart, of self-acceptance and of feeling comfortable in one’s own skin. It is disparaging that the community is excited about documented studies proving what we already know and feel. But the APA’s opinion shows that people, gay or straight, are willing to publicly stand with us as we fight to disprove the lies and myths that have existed for centuries.

Many religions and cultures will not change their opinion about what they consider a lifestyle or a choice. People will still apply the methods mentioned in the beginning, despite the science. But whether they like it or not, as Bob Dylan once sang, “The times they are a-changin’.” Organizations and coalitions, state and local governments, colleges and universities, famous and ordinary, politicians and activists – they support us in droves and like never before. Laws may not yet be on our side, but you can’t deny that the momentum is.

In January of 1999, activists in Louisville successfully campaigned for a Louisville-Jefferson County fairness ordinance. Shortly after that victory, leading advocates in Lexington began meeting frequently. (If Louisville had one, why shouldn’t Lexington?) They strategized for months. Four, five, six nights a week – time spent away from their family and friends – the group lobbied the council members, polled the city’s populace and networked with friendly groups and churches. A few days before the public hearing, volunteers knocked on every door they could find, talking – or at least trying to talk – to citizens about the proposed ordinance.

July 1, 1999 – The hearing room was packed with people. So was the overflow room. The fierce passion of the individuals in the rooms mixed with the intense July heat made it impossible for anyone to stay cool. The Lexington-Fayette Urban County Government council was considering a measure that would ban discrimination the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity. The public hearing was on this night, and everyone anticipated a thorough debate. Testimony from gay rights advocates and opponents of the measure persisted for hours. Emotional narratives were heard from both sides. Fatigued by the summer temperature and extensive rhetoric, the council adjourned.

Had the countless hours been wasted? Did any of their efforts make an impact? Had any of the members been persuaded to change his or her vote by either side? What would the outcome ultimately be?

July 8, 1999 – The LFUCG council voted in favor of the proposed ordinance. And they did it with a 12-3 vote.

Ten years have passed since the ordinance became city law – Local Ordinance 201-99. Many positive things have happened in the way of equality. But LGBT are still seen as “separate but equal” on several fronts.  Not long after Lexington passed 201-99, Henderson passed their fairness ordinance only to repeal it in 2001. In 2003, Covington adopted, and still has, a fairness ordinance. The Commonwealth of Kentucky overwhelmingly voted in 2004to ban same-sex marriage, civil unions and domestic partnerships. State LGBT employees had job protection humiliatingly stripped from them by Gov. Ernie Fletcher on Diversity Day in 2006.

The yearly meetings of our state’s General Assembly have become a right-wing bully pulpit as bills targeted at denying rights to LGBT citizens are commonplace. Several religious and “family” groups get fired up and apply immense pressure on our elected officials. In the end, representatives or senators, even the friendly ones, support the damning measure because 1) we’re not considered as a powerful constituency and 2) we’re not politically popular.

LGBT in the Bluegrass State still lack many of the basic rights and privileges seamlessly enjoyed by straight couples. One step forward, five steps back. Victories are claimed when vile legislation is killed in committee or in a chamber, but the community rarely celebrates restored rights. Louisville, Lexington and Covington enacted fairness ordinances and state workers’ job protections were reinstated thanks to an executive order signed by Gov. Steve Beshear. But we’re a state of 120 counties and a ridiculous amount of municipalities. Simply put, Kentucky is largely a state where LGBT are not protected on the most basic of levels.

Forty years ago, our community - the LGBT family - demanded equality and respect on the streets of New York. Ten years ago, gay rights advocates in Lexington worked tirelessly for months to make sure their friends and family were protected by law. The "fight" now sluggishly moves along. Momentum is wasted when the fires that rage when detestable things are done become flickers in a few days.

Have we truly honored the memory of those before us, many of whom died for our cause? Have we carried their legacy forward in a way that would make them proud? More importantly, would they be satisfied with the status quo?

As a child, it was important that you understood these two realities: 1) kids can be cruel and 2) the playground is host to some of life’s harshest lessons.  But it seems that throughout the generations, kids have gone from cruel yet puckish to viciousness without boundaries.  The childhood recess ritual has transformed into almost 24/7 harassment.

Bullying is a topic that has gotten a lot of attention lately with some state legislatures having passed or considering laws regarding school bullying as well as cyberbullying.  However, bullying has recently grabbed national headlines for more macabre reasons – the deaths of Jaheem Herrera (11 year-old from Georgia), Carl Walker-Hoover (11 year-old from Massachusetts) and Maria Herrera (12 year-old from New York).  Each child endured incessant taunting and teasing, even after parents alerted the schools numerous times of the situations.  And each child chose to end his or her own life.  What drives a sixth grader to think, “I could live to see old age, but life will never get better so puberty will have to do”?  They should be thinking about riding bikes, caffeine, sugar and the next cool shows on Nickelodeon and Disney.

These kids weren’t alone in their suffering.  Bullying is considered the most common form of violence.  According to the National Association of School Psychologists, each day 160,000 students skip school for fear of being bullied.  In 2005, the U.S. Department of Justice reported that 77 percent of students are bullied emotionally, verbally or physically.  Specifically speaking to LGBTQ youth, 33 percent of men and 34 percent of women experience some kind of violence at home AND school.  They’re also four times more likely to attempt suicide than heterosexual students.

The abuse that happens in schools leaves emotional and, at times, physical, scars.  Psychologists believe victims of traumatic bullying cases can exhibit signs of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, even later in life.  PostSecret, the website where people can anonymously bear their souls, recently displayed a card that said “The girl who bullied me throughout elementary school has cancer.  I’m not sure if I should pray for her or thank God for punishing her.”  Clearly, many adults carry memories from their younger days of someone considered bigger, stronger, cooler or more popular picking on them for being too feminine or masculine, too fat or thin, too short or tall, too smart or dumb.  How about you? Do you still carry a grudge?

With the understanding that bullying greatly affects many within the LGBTQ community, Lexington Fairness has partnered with the Family Counseling Service to develop PROJECT SPEAK OUT.  We are collecting anonymous stories from local middle and high schools and from college students about their experiences with bullying in the school systems.  Some of these accounts will be used to create a reader’s theater-style performance piece to be presented to students, parents, educators, administrators, and the greater Central Kentucky community.  The goal is to create an emotionally poignant performance that demonstrates the seriousness of school bullying.  With permission, all of the original stories will be posted online.  Society has always chalked up kids teasing one another as just kids being kids.  It was a way to make you tougher, stronger, wiser.  Nowadays at work, we take light jabs at coworkers as a way to relieve the stress.  Kids, likewise, need a release.  But bullying has become more that just playful joking.  It has become a form of acceptable violence.  As a human race, we must establish boundaries and draw a line in the sandbox, so to speak. Please join Lexington Fairness in participating in PROJECT SPEAK OUT and in helping educate the public on the severe nature of bullying.